Lockdown: Why I’m saying no to dating apps atm.

I have more time on my hands now, and being stuck at home without seeing my friends I sometimes do feel lonely. Especially while binge-watching on Netflix, Prime or Disney+, with pretty much everything I watch having some form of romantic storyline running through it – even the ones I didn’t think would do… And while I could download one of the many dating apps available, I just don’t think this is the time. So here it is, my reasons for NOT joining the lockdown romantics:

Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia on Unsplash

1) I am questioning my motives

Right now, I feel lonely. It’s hard to admit, but it is true. I should be university, living with my friends, celebrating each others birthdays, going out and chatting in our kitchen. We should be teasing each other about who we think is cute and dressing to impress on a night out. Being lonely is not the right reason to go on the online dating world, it may pass the time, it may make you feel less lonely but for me, it all feels superficial. The people I start talking to on dating sites, they are probably like me, lonely and when the lockdown is eased, the first things we are going to want to do is NOT going involve a person we have never met before.

Photo by Pratik Gupta on Unsplash

2) I hate online dating, I really do.

I don’t like online dating. I find it difficult to make a connection with someone I have never met. I don’t enjoy swiping left and right, matching with people only to be ignored indefinitely. Online dating has never worked for me, its always cheesy chat up lines, dick pics or stony silence. I find that the need to so openly compete with other people draining and it ultimately makes me unhappy. So why, when I don’t like online dating am I considering it during a lockdown? A lack of options? Impatience? Probably at least those two.

Photo by Ariel Pilotto on Unsplash

3) I have time now but after lockdown will I still have time?

Right now I have time, oodles and oodles of time. Everyone is busy spending time with their families, learning new skills, trying to become TikTok famous, building a swimming pool (don’t ask) or trying to become the next social influencer. So yeah, I have nothing but time to talk to cute guys online and get to know them but… I know that once the restrictions are lifted I am going to be busy. Busy seeing friends, working and going places. To be honest, I am NOT going to what to date someone. I just don’t think it is fair to be online dating apps when I have zero intention of carrying through.
I don’t like online dating. I find it difficult to make a connection with someone I have never met. I don’t enjoy swiping left and right, matching with people only to be ignored indefinitely. Online dating has never worked for me, its always cheesy chat up lines, dick pics or stony silence. I find that the need to so openly compete with other people draining and it ultimately makes me unhappy. So why, when I don’t like online dating am I considering it during a lockdown? A lack of options? Impatience? Probably at least those two.

Me. Chillin’ in the pool with my giant jellyfish and heart glasses

4) Me…Me…Me!

I don’t really want to be focussing on other people, it’s a lot of effort, it’s tiring and not knowing what is happening with restrictions is hard enough. I don’t want to be sucked into the flirty texts and late nights. This is really a chance for me to spend some time on me. I already started at the beginning of lockdown. I haven’t painted my nails, straightened my hair and I’ve only worn make-up on the few occasions I ventured out the house. My outside was getting a break – although tbh it seems to have only resulted in more spots. What’s a girl suppose to do? I’ve also been spending some time getting to know me again, re-evaluating what I think is important and re-training my thought patterns. I’ve been listening to audiobooks and podcasts. My favourite is a podcast by Kira Sabin, League of Adventurous Singles – check it out. Also, when is it going to be this acceptable to carry out oodles and oodles of self-care again?

Photo by Obi Onyeador on Unsplash

5) What do I really want?

This is really the ultimate question. Personally, I don’t want to meet a stranger and spend my time trying to get to know them. I’ve hardly been on any dates like that. Maybe I should when the lockdown is over, but I know that life will be different, will that mean dating will change too? A few years ago I made a list of things I want from a relationship, things I can give and some dealbreakers. To be honest this didn’t help me at all neither have I paid attention to this list… But for me, I have feelings for some else in my life right now, and it is not fair on anyone else or myself if I don’t deal with them first.

Published by Betony

- Speech and Language Therapy Student - Vegan - Wannabe blogger - Urban Decay Addict - Harry Potter Obsessed - Disney Fan - (very) amateur dressmaker -

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